Top 10 Reasons The Jets Missed The Playoffs in 2011

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10. Late night hunger craving in August resulted in Rex Ryan eating the entire offensive section of the playbook

9. Santonio Holmes misinterpreted the ‘C’ on his jersey to stand for Clueless instead of Captain

8. Wayne Hunter refused to block for Mark Sanchez after learning Sanchez hit on Hunter’s 17-year old niece during training camp

7. Shonn Greene thought ‘Ground and Pound’ meant he needed to pound himself into the ground, hampering his rushing abilities

6. General Manager Mike Tannenbaum’s theory that Mark Sanchez would mature quicker without an offensive line was proven incorrect

5. Offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer’s contract bonus for 2011 was tied to the number of passing plays of less than 10 yards that he called

4. Mark Sanchez refused to wear lifts in his shoes after watching a Seinfeld episode about heightening, resulting in many unnecessary blocked passes

3. Front office incorrectly applied Moneyball principles during the offseason thinking other NFL teams had undervalued the market for slow, old, formerly incarcerated wide receivers

2. Rookie wide receiver Jeremy Kerley’s quarterback rating ended the year 40 points higher than Mark Sanchez’s

1. Players tired of missing annual AdultCon convention in Las Vegas due to playoff game scheduling conflicts

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