Not Fun Dad Task Of The Day: Canine Excrement

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(their eyes don’t really glow like this in person)

At least twice a day I have to clean up after our two little Chihuahuas, Jack and Jill.  We trained them to pee on a wee wee pad, so it’s our doing, I know. We figured they’re 5 and 8 pound lap dogs that are much happier in their beds, on a couch, or on our laps than going outside most of the time. We set them up their own little room in our house so they can pee on tile (rather than wood). But it most of the time, it makes me nuts.

(nice digs, no??)

Why you ask?  Well, let me tell you. Every once in a while freak out about what they’re peeing on and start peeing on the tile, all over the place. We’ve done wee wee pads, newspaper, place mats, cloth rags, towels, and now back to wee wee pads.  This is my preference, but Jill had a spazz out for some reason and now pees and poops in front and to the side of the darn thing. It’s a mess, it get’s all over, and it’s a bitch to clean. Mornings are the worst, with many hours and many pees to deal with.

Do you like having pee on your hands?  Well, I certainly do not, yet I do have pee all over my hands, multiple times a day. It is truly amazing to see how much pee and poop can come out of such tiny little things. How is this possible, seriously? It’s like God is playing a joke. Oh, you want to get a tiny little creature in your house and train it to pee on some sort of paper, indoors? We’ll teach you, you lazy people.

I try to clean up the errand pee and make he sit on the paper. It doesn’t worl. I change the pad more than once. It doesn’t work. I tried throwing them in the trash…uh, what, I mean…I throw the pads in the trash.

They are now 10 years old and kind of don’t give a crap I guess. I don’t really yell at them any more like when we were training them. I just kind of let it slide. I’m glad we set up their excrement room, as it at least contains it. And the tile is ok to clean, aside from the grout.

I suck it up because we still love the dogs like family. At this point, there’s nothing to do. I am a defeated pee and poop cleaner. They have won. And I’m ok with it.

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