Well, it seems that many people (you know, like scientists and stuff) believe that the average human needs to sleep perhaps 7-8 hours per night.  If you sit down, concentrate, and just do the math… 8 hours per night is damn near close to 1/3 of the 24 hours in a day! That seems excessive, no? I mean, you have to eat to survive, but do you eat for 8 hours a day? Certainly not…at least not on most days…let’s not count Thanksgiving, Christmas, your kid’s birthday, Sundays, Friday nights, or other days of festive excitement and co-mingling with others.

I digress.

As far as this supposed “needing” sleep charade, I just don’t see it. It’s been close to four months and I’ve not really slept for more than 3 or 4 hours per night. And I’m just dandy. I’ve never BEEN better. I have so many more hours in the day to pursue interests I may have never been able to pursue if not for that hungry baby. It’s a blessing from God, to tell you the truth. A real revelation.

Just take a look at all the Top 5 wondrous things I could now accomplish if I just set my mind to it.



 Source: whyyesiwould

  • Skydiving. I’ve never done and I don’t think it has to do with the fact that I actually like my life and would like to continue it for as long as possible. I think it’s because I’ve been sleeping for 8 hours per night.  Think about how many death-defying, otherwise moronically insane jumps I could do with another 8 hours per day? I could be the king of the skies with all this time.

haters needlepoint

   Source: Etsy

  • Needlepoint. It’s something that’s so timeless yet under-appreciated. The be truly great at this fine art, one needs at least 7-8 hours per day to train. Why am I not created gems like the one above, shining light on the masses, and becoming an A-1 rockstar needle-pointer? Too much darn sleep, that’s why. I mean, I could hem my own pants and save myself $8 bucks this way, too. 



Source: PoliticalStrife

  • Ferret Breeding. You know what there are just not enough of in the average American family domicile? Ferrets, that’s what. I would like to do my part to rectify this imbalance of household love and resources. I could be the next great breeder, one that changes the world. Much like the guy that made the “Labradoodle” or “Cockapoo” not just ordinary mutts but sought after “breeds” that people refer to admiringly by official title. Ferrehuahua anyone?

pattinson stare

  • Non-blinker. I would dominate the world of staring contests. My kids always want to contest me. I always win, big time. but I want to win by even more. I want to be freakishly good at this. Imagine what could be done with such a skill? I would never miss a move the the local chess tournaments. I would be able to watch entire movies and tv shows literally without missing one second of action…Duck Dynasty and Real Housewives of New Jersey would be so much better this way. 3AM feedings…I can see every slurp and head bob of little Caleb, soaking up all the action right as it transpires. I could be the next Rob Pattinson!


Source: All Things NP

  • Brain Surgery.

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