You have 3 kids. You are outnumbered. You can’t get to it all. You need to be a team. Heck, you need to be a team for 1 kid today it seems. There’s just too much that goes into parenting.
When it comes to raising three different children with the love of your life, there can be challenges. Each of you is a different person with different personalities, tones and approaches to parenthood but there are ways to survive parenthood without having your marriage suffer.
Let’s talk about 5 ways to parent as teams as a means to avoid conflict in parenthood and survive well passed the days your kids grow into adults …
- Be Back Up – Make a pact together that neither parent will get in the way of the other parents discipline or decisions. When one parent is getting flak from the child, do not take the child’s side, rather be back up to your partner in that moment and discuss any concerns you have privately about the situation later on.
- Ask For Support – No two parents will agree every single time when it comes to raising their child, so learn to agree to disagree and support any topic your spouse feels strongly about. Use words that ask for your partner to support you in this decision, even if they don’t agree. This helps build communication and a team mindset with your spouse.
- Empathy But Team – Always remain a team with your spouse, never throw them under the bus to your child. Learn to have empathy for your child when they are not happy about the other parent’s decision, but still remain firm in your support of your spouses’ decision. This ensures that your child won’t start to pawn one parent off on the other during those teen years!
- Discuss Family History – This should be discussed long before having children, when you both can understand why one was raised versus the other, traumatic experiences that occurred for one spouse while not for the other; you will come to a better place of teamwork knowing the scenarios that led your spouse to be this type of parent.
- Discuss Parenting When Calm – Always discuss parenting concerns or disagreements privately as well as during a calm state of mind. If you are all wound up about a decision that your spouse made and wish to discuss it immediately in the heat of the moment, you will only be left having bad feelings for each other rather than working to unite as a team.
In most every marriage there is that good parent and bad parent think about it as the good cop versus the bad cop. What you need to realize is that parenting with two different personalities and approaches actually helps build your child’s character, not diminish their spirit. Learn to appreciate your spouse for their ways of parenting while they learn to appreciate yours, learn to discuss concerns privately out of the ears of children and work to move forward together in parenthood!