Coping for Every Situation…Any time, Any Place, Anywhere

Time To Start A Family

This post is sponsored by Ferring Pharmaceuticals. All opinions and love of the app expressed are my own.

There’s a time in some men’s lives when they decide to get married and start a family. When that day comes, it’s usually a pretty exciting time. The couple start thinking about nurseries, baby clothes, and car seats. So many things swirl around and there’s a fever pitch of excitement that’s truly unlike just about anything else a person will do (until the day the baby is born, of course). While this planning is just the start of a journey for many, there are a number of couples who’s plans don’t exactly go as smoothly as they would have hoped.

1 in 8 couples struggle to get and stay pregnant and in approximately 40 percent of these couples, the male partner is either the sole cause or a contributing cause of infertility. Regardless of whether male infertility, female infertility or a combination of the two is the cause of couples’ infertility issues, men are often omitted from the infertility conversation. Fertility issues arise and can cause a lot of stress, pressure, and pain. While I have not personally experienced this, I know MANY of my friends and my wife’s friends have. It really is a tough time for all involved and, like with most things, it never hurts to have a little bit of extra help. 

About the FertiSTRONG App

Many people don’t have the time, money, or geographical access to see a therapist specially trained in infertility counseling. While FertiSTRONG is not a substitute for treatment with a licensed therapist or psychologist, it does serve as a helpful resource for men in the exact moment they feel stress, whenever and wherever they are, by providing them with coping techniques and strategies for many common scenarios faced by men on their family building journey.

FertiSTRONG is a free mobile app designed by psychologists specifically for men as a resource throughout the emotional journey of infertility.  FertiSTRONG provides a variety of more than 500 custom coping options for over 50 specific situations which have the potential to cause distress for men throughout the family building journey. The mobile app was developed to address the unmet needs of men and women trying to build a family.

For each situation you might face such as, your body not cooperating when your partner is ovulating or when you need to produce a sample or when your boss needs you to go away on a business trip when your partner is scheduled to undergo a retrieval, you can click on six different ways to help you feel better in the moment. As in, right then when you are experiencing the distress.

Research Survey

To give you a bit of background, a survey was conducted last year with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association that featured insights from more than 100 men and found that they often feel left out of the fertility conversation and don’t feel there are adequate resources available to support them throughout fertility challenges.  It just made so much sense to create a resource like this so these men have something to turn to where maybe they would not have in the past. It’s a powerful issue and a powerful response. The creators of FertiSTRONG decided to help.

Life Situations Addressed

One of the more amazing and impressive things I found with the app is the sheer breadth and depth of the topics and situations it covers. The creators truly want to be there for the users of this app and have tried to think of and address just about everything!

I really like how the topics dive deep enough to be helpful, but not too deep to make it a chore. The language is clear, concise, and helpful. The language is great at balancing the tough challenge of being comfortable and informative in a very interesting and simple style.  It just works and seems to do its job well. Here’s the extensive list of categories:

SOCIAL EVENTS

• Holidays
• Kid-related events
• Supporting your partner
• Father’s Day insensitivity

SEX

• Performance anxiety
• Lost my Mojo
• Just a stud service/Queen bee syndrome (Am I just a sperm delivery system)
• Work sex vs play sex (The Job of Sex vs The Joy of Sex)

FERTILITY INVESTIGATION AND TREATMENTS

• Providing a specimen
• I’m the problem (male factor)
• Using a sperm donor
• Coping with my partner’s hormones and moods
• The pregnancy test results

WORK

• Work travel
• Bad news at work from partner or lab
• Talking to co-workers re: work absences
• Work-treatment balance

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

• Debunking myths
• Insensitive people
• Explaining to my parents/siblings
• Advice from others/unsolicited advice

EMOTIONS

• I’m okay if you’re okay
• Channeling my anger into strength
• Sadness and tears (Is it manly?)
• Coping with stress

PREGNANCY LOSS (MISCARRIAGE)

• Coping with my feelings
• Supporting my partner
• Telling friends and family
• Do I have the strength to try again?

MIND-BODY

• Negative thinking
• Working out
• My masculinity
• Lifestyle changes

MY PARTNER

• Partner resentment
• My partner’s depressed
• We’re never on the same page
• My partner’s frustrated

COMMUNICATION

• Arguing
• Keeping it calm/civil
• Cross complaining
• Time out

WHEN IS ENOUGH ENOUGH?

• Giving up/Am I a quitter?
• Using egg donation
• Using donor sperm
• Adoption

RELATIONSHIP SURVIVAL 101

• Will she leave me for another guy?
• Can our relationship survive if we don’t have kids?
• Will I be a second class citizen when baby arrives?
• Can I/we bond with a donor created child?

That’s a very robust list, right? There’s a lot of help packed into this app.

About the Creators

Dr. Domar and Dr. Grill are reproductive psychologists with over 45 years combined experience, at two of the most prominent infertility centers in the US. They provide counseling for women, men and couples as they work to build their families. Find out about them and more at FertiSTRONG.com.

Get The App

If you are facing fertility issues, plan on starting a family, or simply want to understand the process and possible complications a little better, it’s time to do something about it! Don’t be afraid to learn more. Feel free to speak up about your fertility issues and experiences. Utilize a resource that may help you on your fertility journey! It seems to me that this app really should be a part of your journey. It’s a really helpful tool when and where I’m sure you feel like you need all the help you can get.

To find about more:

• Download to Apple iOS Devices
• Download to Android Devices
• Check out FertiSTRONG.com

Designed specifically for Men Coping for Every Situation…Any time, Any Place, Anywhere.